Home to Me

The other day I said something about one of my agents having a client in Santa Rosa where I used to live. A couple of months before that I was rooting for Dustin Pedroia and the Boston Red Sox, because Dustin and I share the same hometown (Woodland, CA). What's funny about that is that I only lived in the city limits for 1 year, but went to school there for 7. That was my longest stretch in one spot. Sometimes at the gym I wear a Sonoma State t-shirt. I'm from Anaheim. I'm from Sacramento. For a summer when I was 14 I thought I was moving to LA (really Orange County, SO not the same thing). I'm from a tiny town in the country no one has ever heard of (Capay, CA). I'm from the Bay Area. Most simply, I'm from California.

Have you seen those commercials where the person needs their cell phone coverage to reach a made up city -- the Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious of geography. THAT is where I'm from! In my life I've lived in 22 houses in 12 places. A little bit of me is from each place, but none of them are really "home."

At this time in my life North Carolina feels most like home. It should -- I've been here almost 10 years. I still don't know where most of the towns are and without my friend Beth I'd have no sense of direction or space or history of this place. I'll never be "from" here and know that no matter how slight of an accent I pick up or how many years I live here, I'll always be from somewhere else. But when I go back to CA, I'm not from there either. It's really pretty strange -- like I'm an expatriate within my own country.

I guess that takes us back to "home is where the heart is." My heart is scattered across the country and places I've never lived -- North Carolina, Virginia, Missouri, California. I guess I'm from North Calissournia.

Waiting on the World to Change

You, dear Rebecca, are not the only one who has lost their muse. I just haven't had a thing to say. I have been alternately too stressed, bored, addicted to campaign coverage, working at home, at the gym, working on an online photography store, watching the Canes stuggle, and a whole bunch of other not interesting things, all of which kept me from posting. Oh yeah, and re-learning how to knit. I don't say any of this as a means of complaint, but to explain that nothing interesting has happened lately for me to write about. Life happens for sure, but most of it is just the same thing every day with different weather and clothes.

Today there are several elections and caucuses happening. My BA is in political science and I love watching this stuff -- I've had MSNBC on for almost 9 hours already today. As I wait for the rain outside to turn to snow at 3pm (or at least that's what the Weather Channel said) I thought I'd rattle off a few random thoughts...

As a disclaimer, I've been a D since I first registered to vote in 1991 and voted in my first election in 1992. I have very good friends and relatives who are R (at work we call them Rs and Ds so as not to enflame anyone too much). Heck, I've even got L's in my family. I think I can see all sides of the issues fairly and understand the appeal of both.

Regardless of party, I want us to choose a president to make the world better. There are a lot if issues that I care about and hope the next president tries to tackle them. Global warming, health care, education, the housing crisis, poverty around the world, equal rights for all people, the war, stable relationships with the rest of the world...seems like too big of a job for one person to manage. I know there won't be any candidate I completely agree with, but I hope we hire someone who cares about those things too, and can get enough other people to work with him or her to try to make some headway in fixing all the things that seem broken.

If you haven't read Elizabeth Edwards' book, you should. She's an amazing woman who has battled through the same sorts of tragedies and difficulties as everyone else with candor and grace. Without knowing her, I feel like I do. There were experiences she detailed that were just so...normal. I wish nothing but the best for her and her family. I know people who don't like her husband because he made a fortune as a trial lawyer. Why we wouldn't want someone who was obviously very good at his job to be president?

I know the Ds will surely pick Hillary or Barack. I'm ok with that but I'm not in love with either of them yet.

I've been watching the R debates and listening to what they all have to say. There are some very interesting positions out there and I want to know as much as I can about them all to see how the final races may play out. There are things I like about most of them and a few things that bother me. I sort of like Huckabee, but I'm concerned with his idea about making the Constitution more like the bible (or something along those lines). Don't get me wrong -- I'm not slamming the bible, but one of the founding tenets of this country is the separation of church and state (I know that One Nation under God doesn't quite fit that) and that just sounds exclusionary from the first jump.

MSNBC called a winner in the Republican caucus in Nevada with only 4% of the results in. That's just silly. It will probably pan out, but to base a result on the first 1000 people seems irresponsible to me. I'd rather they get it right than get it first.

Is it really so hard to pronounce the word Nevada? Maybe it's just because I grew up in neighboring California, but really folks, it's not that difficult.

Last thought -- my R friend in Nevada better have gone to a caucus today. Put your education to work & make Andy proud. Can't you just imagine how much fun he must be having with this now? (Did you end up marrying another R?)

That's all for now -- another round of speeches is starting.

PS -- It just started snowing at 350p.

The Twelve Days of Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone!



My new year's resolution will be to stop by here more often. In the meantime enjoy the boys from IU. My family has deep roots back to Indiana. I can't take credit for them, but I can make sure everyone gets to enjoy them.

I Will Not Take These Things For Granted

My family - specifically, my grandfather, who is sharing another holiday with us, which wasn't so certain a few weeks ago.

My friends - I'm not able to see or talk to them as often as I'd like, but I think of them every day. I've been able to spend a lot of time with most of you this year and it's meant a lot to me.

My health -- lots of weird little things this year, but at the end of the day everything is ok.

My job - that challenges me, exhausts me, makes me crazy and gives me a reason to laugh every day. I am so lucky to work with people I like.

My God-daughter - who wants a diary with a lock on it for Christmas. Remember the secrets you had when you were six years old?

I hope you are all having a safe and warm holiday with friends or family!

Love to all, Heather

Anna Begins

Tonight I was looking through my CDs and found a totally awesome disk that I didn’t even remember owning. I used to have a bit of a CD buying problem and in the last two years (since I bought my house?) that has dwindled to almost nothing. I think buying songs online has contributed as well. After my recent road trip I’m tired of the same 15 CDs I always tote around with me. Now I feel like I got a new CD and it didn’t cost a thing.

This CD has a song I just adore. A few years ago I was listing to friends play music at a coffee house in Durham (or was it Chapel Hill?) and I almost fell out of my chair when they played this song. I always thought it was mine.

I’m going to listen to it on the way to work tomorrow and remember who I used to be. Hint: it wasn’t Anna.

PS Whatever happened to the Mumbling Beefheads?

Walking in My Shoes

I’ve had a lot going on lately. That’s why I haven’t been showing up here. I wish I could say it was something wonderful, something fantastic. I wish I could say I’d fallen in love and run off with some tall, handsome stranger. I wish I could say I’d won the lottery. I wish for a lot of things. Instead, I just work. A lot.

There have been changes there lately. Not all good. Not all bad. Most requiring more effort and more caring and just…more of everything. Anyone that knows me well knows that when I get stressed out I cut people out and hunker down. The thing is, now I have to pay extra attention to the people and still do more stuff. It’s an acquired skill and I just don’t have it yet.

Goodbye to a River

I love rainy days. The kind where you just want to sit on the couch, bundled in pajamas and an old quilt and finish the book you’ve been working on for weeks. They have to be cloudy, gray, drippy days that aren’t worth going outside.

It’s been ages since we’ve had rain. I really miss it.

Wide Open Spaces

The morning started with a drive from American Canyon (let's just call it Vallejo) to Novato then out to Bodega Bay. Bodega is one of those places where I can just...breathe.

Isn't it heaven?

Then I went to Rohnert Park, where Sonoma State University is located. They have Starbucks now -- of course I found it immediately. I went to the bookstore on campus and it still looked exactly the same as it did the first time I went there, almost 20 years ago as a freshman in high school. The rest of the campus looks totally different.

Something is eating Stevenson Hall.

Going back to the hotel I drove through Santa Rosa, Sonoma and Napa. I was out driving for hours and hours. It was a lovely day.

Welcome to Paradise

I never told y'all the final story with my smeller. I've now had a CT scan, an MRI and spent 2 weeks on steroids to take care of the infection in my sinuses that was literally blocking my sense of smell. The steroids seem to have done the trick and I can smell again. It was scary for a few weeks but everything seems to be much better now.

I've also arrived in Northern California and some of the first things I noticed were the smells. My rental car smells like this weird air freshener that I've only smelled at car washes in California. It is not good.

Vallejo smells like, well...Vallejo. It's sort of a diesel-y seaside swampy thing. My french fries from Bud's smelled (and tasted) much greasier than I remembered. If I go back this trip I need to remember they need salt (and I don't put salt on anything).

I was very disoriented driving up to my hotel. I think some of the freeways have moved (is that possible?) and there are definitely lots of new things. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Learn to Fly

Most days I don't notice just how much the world has changed in the last six years. The aftereffects of 9/11 hasbecome a part of our daily lives and collective history. We are all aware of the changes, but they are not so distressing, especially if you travel often. Stepping out of your shoes, skipping the coffee run on the way to the airport and judging the combined quantity of liquids in your carry-on...it's just what we do now.

As I write this I am on a flight from Dallas to Oakland. I've been planning this trip for months and really looking forward to it for the last week or so. I needed to get away from myself for a while. But sitting here on the airplane, I'm apprehensive and I can't judge if I am overreacting or if I need to be shouting. I think I'm a rational person who tends to look for reasonable explanations for everything. So I will give you my set of circumstances and let you be the judge -- is this normal post-9/11 fear or am I just nuts?

I am sitting near the front of the plane, in the second row of coach in the window seat, with the middle seat empty and a nice older women sitting on the aisle. She mentioned to the flight attendant that she is going to California to visit her daughter and little granddaughter. Normal enough so far, right? Then she asked the flight attendant how many people were in the cockpit and if there were always two people or if sometimes there were three? The flight attendant told her she couldn't discuss security procedures -- Grandma seemed miffed but acquiesced anyway. As soon as the seatbelt light went off she toddled up the restroom in first class (sans shoes) and while the lav in the front is infinitely closer than the one at the back of the plane, it is mere inches from the cockpit and I'm not sure I want her anywhere near it. When she came back she pulled out her cell phone (at you know, 30-something-thousand feet) and tried to make a phone call. Who does that? Is she trying to detonate something she left in the bathroom? Should I say something? Get ready to tackle her if she does anything else suspicious? Or am I completely paranoid?

I'm sure if I was on the ground I would think this was a sweet grandmother who just needed to "go" and didn't want to walk the entire length of the plane, wanted to make sure herself that there was plenty of security up front and as she isn't wearing a watch, was using her cell phone to see what time it was. That is what normal, pre-9/11 me would have thought.

It's really sad and I know it. But just in case, I'm not sleeping the rest of the flight.

Goin Back to Cali

I'm going home tomorrow. Not "where I live my life" home, but "where my heart was born" home. This trip started out as one thing and has turned into something completely different and the closer it gets, the more I know I really, really need it. I'm going to see where little me came to be, where I fell in like (and love) for the first time and places that just make my soul feel at peace. I'm going to see how much it has all changed and grown and see friends that I haven't seen in far too long.

I have this great litte t-shirt from pieces of a girl that I will never be little enough to wear, but I love what it says so it remains in my closet...

"She wasn't afraid to travel down an open road with nothing but horizon to keep her company..."

Kiss From A Rose

I haven't posted anything about it before, but I've been dealing with an usual medical problem. I lost my ability to smell. It was so gradual I didn't really notice it happening. I've always had allergies and figured my inability to smell was being inhibited because of pollen or dust or other gross things I'm going to try to avoid mentioning here. Eventually I had other problems with my ears which led to new allergy medicine and eventually I realized -- I can't smell! Actually, what I realized was that I could smell -- but that it was all wrong. Things that should be lovely, like perfume, smelled like moldy boxes. All milk smelled odd. My dog, who smells like, well, a dog, didn't smell like anything at all. I could put my face in a bunch of flowers and get nothing.

I found a wonderful doctor and tests were run and medicine was taken. I prepared myself to have lost this sense forever -- apparently it's quite common. We were going to rule out all the scary causes and then hope it would come back. Then, suddenly, about a week ago (and only 4 days into a 12 day course of intense pharmaceutical intervention), I smelled something. Something Good. Several Something Good's, actually. Perfume. Barbeque potato chips. Coffee. Wood chips baking in the sun through my open window at a fast-food drive through. My dog. My gym shoes (ok, not all good, but you know what I mean). A basket of muffins. Clean laundry. It has become such a comical experience -- but I need to acknowledge everything I smell. (I sort of feel sorry for my coworkers -- they get an alert every time a scent gets through.)

I am so, so, so lucky. It could have been something much worse. It could have been my sight or my hearing. It could have been something wrong in my head, rather than just my sinuses. My grandmother died from brain cancer and I wasn't aware of it but her first symptom was that she lost the ability to smell. I hadn't told my grandfather any of this until it started to be resolved (I had good news and wanted to share) and I scared him so badly he hung up on me (it's all ok now).

I've started a list of things I really want to smell...rain on the pavement, cinnamon rolls, autumn, a Christmas tree. I don't know if this is something that I'll have to deal with periodically or if it's a one-time-only sort of thing. For now I'm just going to take in everything I can.

Don't Stop Believing

I didn't always love sports. As a kid the only ones I would watch on tv were figure skating and gymnastics. I realized, at age 11, that my dream of competing at the Olympics would never come true. How sad is it to have your dreams dashed at the age of 11 anyway? (Darn that Mary Lou Retton!) Years passed, I grew up and along the way I discovered you can learn to do something just because you like it; you don't have to be the best or brightest and you can settle for less than world domination. Sometimes, it's just fun. For 5 years, starting at age 24, I took figure skating lessons. By the time I stopped I had 5 different jumps. Not good ones, and I didn't exactly get airborne, but if you ever need a demonstration of a salchow or toe loop, I'm your girl.

I think that's what is so magical about the Little League World Series. These are kids who have worked hard but are still having fun. It isn't a job. Someday they will look back and have this great story about something they did when they were 12, but it won't be who they are. I love the research the announcers have on the kids -- favorite players, favorite actors, favorite school subject. Next year I would love to go see Christian play in Williamsport, but really, I'd rather see him play with his friends at home. They grow up too fast as it is.

March Madness is sort of the same thing. Of course there are guys playing who use this as their tryout for the NBA. Those guys are the reason I usually want to change the channel. I watch for the seniors who have never played on tv before, but are getting a shot at the spotlight. They don't even get 15 minutes of fame -- it's more like 15 seconds. They'll go on to be hedge fund managers or dentists who just happen to be really tall.

In a season of scandals, the worst thing that happened in hockey this summer was Eric Staal's bachelor party. A bunch of farm kids getting drunk, being loud and yelling at cars at 4 in the morning (the horror!). This isn't a story about entitled rich brats -- it's just boys being boys and I'm totally OK with it. It sounds like the worst crime committed was that horrible shirt Jordan is wearing in his mug shot. (Seriously, it's like he dressed for jail before the party even started.)

Anyone who has been here before knows I unabashedly love hockey. There is no room for ego on a hockey team. Sure, there are superstars scattered across the league, but only a few are household names. Every guy on the ice is there to support every other one -- there really isn't room for the kind of players you see in football or basketball. At the end of every playoff series, both teams live up to shake hands - no one leaves until it's over. In other sports, the team that loses runs for the locker room (to hide their tears?). Training camp is only a few days away. I can hardly wait.

Celebrity

I was recently doing a little research on Amazon.com for something I needed to buy for work. As usual, I was distracted and wandered into other parts of the site (darn heuristics!). They have a feature that lets people create shopping lists --i.e. If you like John Mayer you'll probably like Jack Johnson, etc. So I started cracking up when I stumbled across this one: 5 Pop Stars You'd Like to Make-Out With (you may use a time machine).

I'm not sure what is funnier, the idea that anyone would sit around and make that specific list (it's rather g-rated), or, the concept that you are allowed to use a time machine. Which you know, doesn't really exist (did I even need to point that out?). Funny.

All These Things That I've Done

Things I didn't do this weekend:
Finish the six (6!) blog postings I've started over the last few weeks but never finished
Write an email to an old friend that I've been meaning to write for about 2 months
Use my backyard grill (maybe that one time was enough?)
Watch any sports, other than highlights of the Little League World Series
Watch any shows I had saved in my tv (I really should just delete them -- I'm never going to watch them)
Call Kim
See the last 30 minutes of The Company because the video feed froze (I did listen though -- but I have no idea how it ended)
Work (yay!)

Things I did do this weekend:
Spent a lovely afternoon with Linda shopping for new clothes (always more fun when you have someone to shop with!)
Baked a quiche
Took a class at the gym
Had a bubble bath
Watched a movie
Read a book
Nothing, for hours at a time. It was wonderful.

Worlds Apart (Separate Ways)

A few things to preface tonight's story:

When out drinking with my friends in college I almost always drove. I had a friend killed by a drunk driver in high school and don't like to be at the mercy of other people's sobriety.

One of the "requirements" for going to school in the Bay Area is that you must develop an affinity for Journey and Fleetwood Mac.

When I was at college in Sonoma there was a group of polysci professors that gave a holiday party every year...

I only remember going to the big shin-dig once, my first year there. I drove a group of friends out to a house somewhere out in country near Sebastopol and it felt like we were out in the middle of nowhere. I had a huge crush on one of the guys in the car, but it was months (years) until that was sorted out. We drove over the river and through the woods, over the hills and around the bend through a pitch black, crystal-clear frozen night. I know there was drinking both before and during the party and one of the guys in the car (not my crush, maybe his name was Todd?) was singing at the top of his lungs with the windows opened as we sped back to town. He was sitting directly behind me in the back seat, jabbing me in the head with his finger while I drove as he sang...."If - he - e - ver - hurts - you - true - love - won't - de - sert - you - You - know - I - still - love - you...." I know this was the ramblings of a drunk kid but for some reason I always imagined he was really saying those words to me (really, he couldn't have been). It's 13 years later and I still think of that night every time I hear that song. So funny how those things stick.

Something's Missing

This week has been the perfect example of the saying...we make plans and God laughs.  I have been on vacation for the last week and had planned to write a blog a day.  Even if there are only one or two periodic readers, it feels good to get these thoughts out sometimes and feel like someone will hear me.  I traveled last weekend and made notes during the long trip home about things I wanted to write about.  The day I got home my friend Linda and I went and saw John Mayer play (and ran into people I know -- I love it when that happens as it makes me feel like I really live here now).  Then the plans all started to unravel.  I had appointments lined up every day of various types -- doctors, carpet cleaners, classes at the gym, kids hauling off furniture.  Each of my days had a plan and a purpose -- it wasn't necessarily a fun vacation but a time to handle errands and just Get Things Done (I'm borrowing Rebecca's caps).  Getting sick on day two was not part of the plan.  So, it's several days later and I'm not any better and half of the things have been done.  Progress was made and my list was too ambitious anyway.  It's the blogging thing that still had me bothered.  So much to say and no strength to type.  Really, that's just sad.

 

I leave you tonight with the set list from the show last Tuesday...

 

Vultures

I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)

Why Georgia*
Bigger Than My Body

Clarity
Belief*
Gravity

Good Love is On the Way*

In Repair*

Waiting on the World to Change*

No Such Thing*

I Don't Need No Doctor  (seriously honey, don't end your show with a song no one in your demographic knows -- I know you want to bring the blues to the masses -- just put it earlier in the show)

I'm Gonna Find Another You

 

*Yay

 

Oh wait, the title of the post is Something's Missing.  As in, the rest of the list?  So many others songs are missing from that list....Comfortable, Home Life, Tracing, 83, The Heart of Life, Stop This Train, and my favorites Neon and Love Song for No One.  That's not even figuring in the famous ones everyone knows (Daughters, Wonderland).  I guess if we had another couple of hours he could have played those too.  I think Ben Folds had an unusually long set (local boy plays at home and all that) and it probably ate into our show.  Linda spent the next two nights seeing DMB in Boston and they played a ton more songs (and their songs are long).  I guess what I'm getting around to saying is that I was gypped out of a vacation and feel like John owes me more songs.  Think I'll get anyone to pay up?

I Can Do Better

More musings on useless knowledge.

I think what I like about the WSoPC so much is that it's one of those shows where you can use those days spent at the movies or hours on the couch watching tv to make you feel smart. I like Jeopardy too, but I never liked science and they have lots of questions about rocks and gasses. Not so fun. Also, it's only on 2 weeks each summer so it isn't played to death like that Millionaire show was. Plus, this has Pat Kiernan and he may be my favorite media-type guy ever.

One category tonight was Dirty Dancing. Who hasn't seen Dirty Dancing? (other than one of the contestants! seriously -- where do they find these people?) Heck, I just saw it last weekend! Oh my gosh -- some guy just got Baby's real name wrong. Susan? Sooooo not right. It Frances you silly boy. Answers included She's Like the Wind, Kellerman's, Wayne Knight, and watermelons. You can probably guess all the questions.

Hmmmm...lesson's learned watching Dirty Dancing...you can meet cute men while carrying fruit to underground parties, never sleep with the smarmy waiter, mambo brings everyone together...

Good Night

Good night, Canada.

Ants Marching

Promises are made every day.

Promise to finish your homework.
Promise to call me when you get home.
Promise to love me forever.
Promise to help me stop cancer.

Cancer touches everyone at some time or another. It took my grandmother. My oldest friend's mother has battled it several times and is about to battle it again. I had a "scare" of my own recently which turned out to be nothing, but I got a glimpse into what thousands of people go through every single day.

I work in a company that is 90% women. There are more than 150 of us. Statistics show that 1 in 8 women will have breast cancer in their lifetime. That means roughly 19 of us -- so far there have been at least 8. Seven have fought it successfully.

My stepfather Wayne has a wife, two daughters, three granddaughters, a mother, a sister, four nieces and a ton of aunts. What are the odds there?

A few weeks ago I walked in the Race for the Cure here in Raleigh. Twenty-two thousand survivors, and their families and friends walked to raise money for Komen for the Cure. Walking down Hillsborough Street by Meredith College and looking around to see the endless horizon of thousands and thousands of people, like little pink and white ants. The pink ones are miraculous.

I walked with Phyllis (a survivor), and my friends Beth and Sue. I don't have a lot of money to give but I have my feet and some time...I'll do this every year for as long as I can.

You Oughta Know

I love trivia games.

I have stayed late at work so that I can get to the gym in time to watch all of the "good parts" of Jeopardy while I walk my first mile. I don't care about Final Jeopardy -- too many commercials before we get to the "Ancient Forms of Currency" or "Prime Ministers Pets" question.

A few years ago, there was a Rock & Roll version that I was really good at. It was on Sunday mornings and back in the days when it took a written invitation to wake me up on the weekends. (Where did those days go?)

I have a new favorite. The World Series of Pop Culture on VH1. It's on every night for the next week or two and it is so much fun. So far tonight there has been a category of Aaron Spelling shows, songs with guy's names (Mr Jones anyone?) and another funny, yet unfortunate, category of songs about...butts. Who knew there were so many? Who knew I knew so many of them?

I may be the only person I know watching. Seriously! It's dark out so you aren't missing any summer -- go turn on your tv. There is no nutritional value and you probably won't learn much, but you'll have a good time.

Tom's Diner

Thursday - Stonewood Grill for my boss' 60th bday dinner
Friday - Chinese takeout for just me
Saturday - more Chinese & Applebees with Linda
Sunday - Johnny Carinos with Mom & Wayne
Monday - GYM .
Tuesday - Applebees for lunch with a new agent. GYM.
Wednesday - Sawmill Taproom for lunch with Wayne (don't like fried pickles!)
Thursday - Applebees (again) with another new agent. GYM.

Couldn't wait to get home tonight so I could just have a bowl of cereal. Ugh.

Running out of Days

Our last day together was a bit more low-key. After driving through every neighborhood around Rock Creek Park we finally made it to the National Zoo. It was hot. We walked a long, long way. I saw the baby panda.

The lion looked like it wanted to eat everyone. All was right with the world.

Our final night we sort of went to an Orioles game. The game was at 7pm in Baltimore. We left at 5pm to begin a 1 hour drive. Now that I'm accustomed to driving in North Carolina and have forgotten all about "traffic" we completely underestimated the amount of time it would take to drive 50 miles at rush hour. We broke free of the gridlock in DC at just about 6:30pm and still had to drive a really long way. We parked at the first lot we found and walked at least a mile to Camden Yards. I think we got in our seats at the bottom of the 4th inning. About an inning later we went to find food. After the 7th inning stretch we went to look around, find some souvenirs, and then headed for the car. The drive back was much shorter. It was a short game, but by that point we were all exhausted and ready to head home.

This Land is Mine

Our second day in DC brought us to the cemetery in Arlington (which the kids were so not interested in) and to the Capitol (which at least Christian enjoyed). Loretta Sanchez is the Congresswoman for the district the Goveas live in.

We had a cute girl from UC Riverside take us on a tour -- we even got to ride in the congressional subway car that runs between the Capitol and the House office buildings.

One of the funny things about the Capitol: several years ago the Congress asked every state to send two statues that represent the state. These things are sitting in hallways, on stair landings, in the original Senate chamber...just everywhere. Most of them look like they were just dropped wherever they could find room. It's both tacky and charming at the same time.

There are also at least 4 Abraham Lincoln heads -- rough drafts for the Lincoln Memorial perhaps?

Monday night was date night. We went to a cute little brand-new old-time neighborhood development that had a lot of restaurants and a movie theater. Kim and Ed got to spend a little time alone and Auntie Heather got a the kids. We went out to dinner to a restaurant with tablecloths and chopsticks (where the kids were angels) and then Ben & Jerry's. After that, I endured Spiderman 3 with Kaitlyn on my lap for the first hour and half. My legs and my brain were numb. (Spidey's not my thing.)

So Much To Say

This may be the longest vacation of all time...at least in posts. I've been home for 5 weeks and I'm still not done. I'm actually starting to forget...

Washington DC was so much fun. We got tickets for a open-top double-decker bus that had stops all over the city. Our first big stop was the Natural History Museum. We saw tarantulas eating and dinosaurs and the Hope Diamond (I think I'm the only one who wanted to see the diamond). Later we drove around the city and saw Ford's Theater and the National Cathedral (someday I really want to go inside) and Georgetown.

Our walk through the monuments was exciting for the kids. All day long they asked when we were going to see Abraham Lincoln. We actually had a little game each night that started out with the old Walton's joke...goodnight Kaitlyn, goodnight Christian, goodnight Auntie Heather....goodnight George Washington, goodnight Abraham Lincoln, goodnight Thomas Jefferson...for just being six years old Kaitlyn knows a LOT of presidents.

After we got back to the car we drove over to my favorite of the monuments -- the one for Thomas Jefferson. When I was in college I took three or four political philosophy classes and had to study a lot of the work of the founding fathers. His words move me and to stand in such a beautiful space surrounds by his words...it just inspires me.

Make A Memory

Friday morning began our trek to the beach. The Outer Banks are special -- it's a nice, quiet kind of place where you can go and relax. We only had time to spend one night there, so my friends weren't really able to get the whole picture. It was cold and windy, but beautiful at the same time.

We tried to get a little bit of history into the trip so the kids would learn about their surroundings and take some of the sights home with them. To that end, we visited the Wright Brothers monument in Kill Devil Hills.

Ed and his cast couldn't go down to the sand and Kim needed a rest, so I took the kids down to the water. I think I took almost one hundred pictures while we were there. There is a moment in The Bridge to Terebithia where Leslie calls upon the Terebithians to show themselves and all the winds pick up. Kaitlyn called upon them to talk to her too and the waves all started crashing around her. It was so cute.

After a night at the beach we got up early the next morning (with the gang of Bikers for Jesus) and packed up the car. While Christian and I were hitting the breakfast buffet I got into a chat with one of the bikers who looked like someone you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, but he gave me a nice little pamphlet about church services the next day down in Myrtle beach.

Six hours and two states later, we arrived at Mount Vernon. Now, Kim and I stopped by Mount Vernon about four years ago when she came out to visit me before and it rained and rained. Just as we arrived this time, the sky opened up. Now we can say it "always" rains when we go to Mount Vernon. Christian and Kaitlyn seemed to enjoy it. I'm sure it must have been a very difficult lifestyle back then, even for the pampered elite. George and Martha sure had a gorgeous view to wake up to each day. I'd love to get up there to see it in autumn.

From there it was on to the hotel and an evening hanging out at the pool. The pool inside the building. Nice, but odd.

Next up, three days in DC.

[Note on a totally different topic...I sometimes have to dig for my song titles. I finally found this one and not 30 seconds later it was coming out of my TV, during a NHL commercial before the 3rd period of game 5 of the Stanley Cup Final. As I looked over at the screen to see hockey heroes raising the Cup, knowing in all likelihood that a new team should be doing that within an hour or so, thereby ending the Canes reign, they settled on our Rod Brind'amour. Sigh. Only 4 months more.]

Seatbacks and Traytables

My vacation with Kim and her family was wonderful. I was afraid that it would be too long or we'd try to do too much. I'm going to try to write about the best parts, if only so we can look back a year from now and remember what it was like.

The Goveas arrival in Raleigh was a long time in coming. They were supposed to come LAST May, but a new job postponed everything. So, with the kids a year older we embarked on a grand tour of NC and DC. When the day finally came for them to get on the plane and get here already, there was an electrical storm at their stopping point in New York City. If only they're known their layover and delay were going to give them about 7 hours in NYC they could have taken a taxi ride to Times Square.

We spent the first day in Raleigh slowly -- everyone was tired after their 3 am arrival. Add that to a 3 hour time difference and it was a slow morning. We bravely went roller skating. I think Kaitlyn took to it right away, but of course she's the closest to the ground so falling can't have hurt her much. Christian tried for about 5 minutes and was d-o-n-e done. I figure skated for 5 years so roller blades, while different, weren't totally scary for me. Kim did really well too. Ed however, was a story unto himself.

At some point Kaitlyn fell in front of Ed. Ed fell over trying to save his daughter's life. That's his story and he stuck to it all week. In the process he badly sprained his ankle, requiring a trip to the Rex emergency room the next day to get a cast.

Once Ed was casted (?) and fitted with crutches, it was on to our next activity. I wanted them to spend a little time with my mom and Wayne, so they could see the kids for the first time in several years. We decided to go bowling. The kids had a great time and we all got to play for a while. Unfortunately, due to some faulty bowling shoes, Wayne took a tumble and cracked a rib. Apparently, it's dangerous to enjoy any family activities with this group!

Later we went to see The Bridge to Terebithia at Raleighwood. If you've never been to Raleighwood, it's an interesting experience. An old theater fitted with restaurant tables and they feed you dinner while you watch a movies. The Bridge to Terebithia was one of my favorite books when I was Christian's age. Watching the movie, I didn't remember a single part of it except for the creek and the places the kids played, because it was just how I imagined it and it looked just like where I grew up. I even had a bridge across a creek. This movie will figure in later in the trip...

I'm Just a Bill

This blogger is on vacation until the end of the week -- touring DC with friends from CA. They've been here since last Tuesday and we're in DC until Wednesday. Headed to the Capitol today.

Yes it's a long, long journey to the capitol city....

In the Waiting Line

I just had to see if this works...


Create yours at BlingyBlob.com!

Mary Had a Little Lamb

My NC friends know that this is a wonderful area to live in. If I ever have children of my own I want them to be raised in an area like this. If you live here you know the pros and cons (weather, friendliness, proximity to mountains, beaches, sports, theater, blah, blah, blah). Where else can you have 80 degrees of steam and then snow in the very same week? If you don't live here you won't be swayed by a few glowing remarks. You just have to experience this place to understand.

My CA friends think I live in some God-forsaken area where I may be the only person who knows how to read, conjugate a verb correctly or count to 100. I think when Kim and her family arrive next month they will be happily surprised to learn that I have indoor plumbing...and shocked to learn I have more bathrooms in my house than they do in theirs.

So, last week my coworker and I are playing the "this headline says it all game" (some headlines on CNN and MSNBC just don't need to be read further) when one pops up on CNN that said something like "Man Arrested with 80 Sheep in House." We laughed at it and went on with our day. Later I learn he lives in Apex (a suburb of Raleigh). No wonder my friends think I'm nuts.

It Ends Tonight

It's a sad day for Canes fans.  I don't know which is worse: having your team sink to the depths in the standings with half a season left to go, or fighting until the 80th game and losing with two games left.  I think I'd rather hang around to the bitter end.  The hardest part, is that today the whole hockey world is using the "f" word* to describe our skaters.  It's simply not true.

Believe we when I say that I know that hockey is not the most important thing in the world.  It's just that the real world is quite scary at times and it's nice to have such an escape from it.  Some days there doesn't seem like anything to look forward to, and then I realize that 7pm isn't far away and another roller coaster ride is about to begin.  I especially love the nights when I get to be in the arena, driving down Creedmoor with my goofy car flags, watching at the parade of red lights racing down the hill...or better yet the ride home with those same cars and flags, after a big win when everyone honks and waves at each other at stoplights.  I'm going to miss it.

Rest well -- we'll see you in October.  It just seems so far away. 

 

*fluke

Martha My Dear

I share my birthday with Martha Stewart and Martin Sheen.  I can't suddenly decide I want to pretend to be the president, so I decided I wanted to learn to cook.  This isn't a new thing, I've been trying new things for a couple of years now.  This weekend I made my mother's meatloaf and a spinach, bacon and Swiss cheese quiche.  Not bad if I do say so myself -- there may be hope for me yet.

Next Contestant

Online dating, or really, online looking and deleting, sucks. I think married people see those happy little commercials on tv and think "everything is so easy now" and they tell their single friends to go try to meet someone online. Then these sad, single people log in for a happy ever after and well....they have no freaking idea. It is not like buying a new cd or a book on Amazon. Wouldn't that be fun -- I'd like a tall, dark and witty man with limited mommy issues and a good job. If junior high wasn't bad enough -- I've been deleted by cowboys who are only five feet tall, a guy who wears his Star Wars costume as a hobby and someone who listed the five things he can't live without as "sex, beer, pizza, sex, and sex." Puh-leeze. As if.

Dance, Dance

Nine teams are out so far -- who will still be dancing next weekend?

We are running our girls only pool at work again this year. I don't know why the boys won't play with us. Probably because we don't really have any. Poor Sam -- we always leave him out.

My boys are skating tonight, the kids are pounding the hardwoods, I lived through another spinning class and I had wonderful Chinese food for dinner. I definitely like Thursday better than Wednesday.

Something's Always Wrong

The last few weeks have been difficult and I feel like having a good old fashioned pity party. I do know how fortunate I am and shortly I will regain my equilibrium. Tonight, I am simply bummed out. I can't even put my finger on the reason I have the blues...

I think it may be winter doldrums, even though I love winter more than any other time of year. Well, autumn pretty much rocks too.

It could be the routine I've gotten into where nothing ever changes; which isn't even accurate because everything around me is in flux.

I've been lonely lately. My friend Linda lives here now and I've actually been getting out more, which seems to make the rest of the time somehow emptier.

It could be my performance review at work coming this week, where I will probably hear the same thing as last year, even though I really have tried to fix the thing about me that seems to bother everyone so.

Possibly it's my worry about my friend, who is now past the very scary part but needs to be watched (and I am very grateful for that) but it has worn on me and made me homesick.

The hockey season is almost over. It will be a long summer.

I'm irked by the fact that I have gone to my new gym four (four!) times a week for six weeks now and I've lost only half a pound. I've walked 25 miles. I've ridden a fake bike for 50 more. I can leg press my own body weight (I'm not telling how much that is). I've taken a cycling class that while fun and difficult, resulted in me not being able to sit down for two days. It's ok to laugh at the last one.

My last gripe: it's Wednesday

Tomorrow will be better.

Route 66

This is fun -- but don't do it when you are watching 24 -- the ticking clock makes it harder. When you do to this site, the clock starts. You have 10 minutes to type in the names of all 50 states (spelling counts!). My first try I got 46. The second try I only got 43.

http://www.ironicsans.com/state22.html

Singing the song helps.

Hold My Hand

Music from the golden days in your life will always be just that: golden. It can keep you company on a long Saturday in the office. Sometimes it's best played loudly with the car windows open. Some cd's are just so comfortable, you know every beat and chord change and word.

Hootie and the Blowfish eventually turned into a bit of a joke (well, Hootie and his Burger King commercials anyway). I loved Darius Rucker and my roommate loved the naked drummer. Hold My Hand and Let Her Cry were big in the fall of 1994 when I went away to school and they were on the video monitors in the slop house everyday. That was one of the best years of my life and that music was the soundtrack.

This is one of those times when I need to turn my back on everything new and go back home. I have a friend in trouble right now. She's got a scary medical thing going on and I'm very far away. If I was back home (well, three homes ago), I'd be able to take her kids out while she was at the doctor or take her to a movie to get her mind off things. We'd go to dinner and talk about what the doctors said and I'd tell her to stop looking things up on the internet because it only makes it more scary. I'd be able to do something. Anything. I'd be able to hold her hand and tell her it's going to be ok.

I did not grow up with siblings. I have some step-people, but they have each other and don't need me. This girl is the closest thing I'll ever have to a real sister. She's seen me when I was skinny, not-so-skinny, a brat, a saint...we've fought, we've consoled each other's broken hearts. She makes me laugh, she makes me crazy, she made me a Godmother. When my heart was broken and I wanted to hide and never come out into the light, she dragged me to the movies every weekend for eight months. She didn't laugh when I was 17 and wanted to marry a guy whose lifetime aspiration was to become a plumber's assistant. She let me go out into the world and find my own place, but has always let me know that she'd be there if I ever wanted to go back. I've taken her to see parts of the country she may never have seen; she's shown me a life I hope to have on my own someday. She met a great guy and they've brought two beautiful children into this world. I only get to see her a couple of times a year but she is a part of me every day. I love her and can't imagine my life without her. I don't know what is going to happen over the next few weeks, but from across a continent I am going to hold her hand as tightly as I can.

Not Ready to Make Nice

I've been sitting on this title for a while. It's an amazing song by the Dixie Chicks, who have been much-maligned (by the country music establishment) but are also much-admired (by me). Tonight, they have been honored for the music that was born of their "incident" in London on the eve of the current war. They have lost their home on country radio and they don't really fit in to any other pre-programmed genres so you have to make an effort (read: spend money) to hear their music. I am so happy for them to be recognized.

I am not the kind of person who voices my opinions about politics or the state of the world unless pressed. I believe everyone has an opinion and I know they are not all the same as mine. I don't appreciate it when other people try to force their opinions on me and I avoid discussions about this sort of stuff, except in large generalizations. Even writing this post seems like a leap for me -- and I know the average blog is read by 2 people.

Those three women had the guts, in a very dangerous time, to speak their beliefs and when challenged they didn't back down. They may not have been particularly eloquent and could have picked a better venue, but really, those are details that should not overshadow the message. At the heart of it all, they spoke for another America, one that lost it's voice in the face of a war. I still can't figure out why more people didn't see that the freedom for Natalie Maines to voice her opinion was the very thing we were (at that time anyway) talking about fighting for. They had their lives threatened, their careers trashed. Three years later, most people I know agree with them.

There is an auto body shop I pass each day on my way home. I always try to read their marquee as the owner is surely a Canes fan and the sign always says something cute about the team. For most of the summer it read Congratulations Stanley Cup Champions then it went on to count down the days to opening day and later notes about upcoming games (Get Even With the Caps Sat Night, or, Blow Leafs Blow). Now it simply reads Bring Our Troops Home. I wonder what it said three years ago?

All That I'm Living For

This week is all about getting to Thursday. It's been a very difficult couple of weeks. (Do I really keep saying that, or does it just feel that way?) At work I am in charge of just about anything with an on/off switch. In the past 20 days or so, every single thing in my building has rebelled. If it's not the phones, it's the internet, the reservation system, or some other mission critical piece of software. Last night I was there until 9 pm with our phone guy. Most of the time I don't mind, but sometimes it is just so hard.

On Thursday I will be flying far, far away. Mostly I'm going to St Louis to visit my grandparents, but Friday will be even more. Friday is like my birthday and Christmas -- I'll be going into the city to see world champion skating under the lights. It's really become a holiday for me. I'm a big geek when it comes to figure skating -- I can admit it! This is my 12th year going to see this particular tour. I just love it!

There should also be snow in St Louis. What is funny is that it might snow here in Raleigh on Thursday too. A couple of weeks ago we got a little bit here. It's the first time we've had any since I moved to my townhouse. I've added a picture below -- please ignore the scary grass in my yard. I already have big plans for the weekend after I come home.


I'll be home just in time for the "big game" on Sunday. Then Monday it's back to the building -- I hope it behaves while I am away.



**Programming note -- Kings@Canes Feb 13 -- I'll be there.**

Kokomo (Indiana)

First, I have to apologize, yet again, for not posting anything here in a long time. What is funny about that is that I have started thinking in topics. I will roll an idea around in my head about something that doesn't sound too lame to write about. It has never happened when I could actually pound anything out. Figures! Anyway, work has been...hectic lately. We've had some staff changes and with that comes extra work in training and covering other functions, that eventually gets better. I'm still waiting for the "getting better" part but hope it'll happen soon. At the end of each day all I want to do is curl up on my couch and watch the Canes win a hockey game. Not much luck there lately either.

Second, a disclaimer. My people are from Indiana. Not all of them, but everyone on my mother's side of the family started out there in Greentown and Kokomo. We have records going back 200 years -- and then everyone picked up and moved somewhere else. Must have been those new-fangled contraptions, your know, cars and airplanes, that got my people wandering the globe. In any case, it has given me a predisposition to John Mellencamp songs and college basketball.

OK, the basketball is a stretch until March Madness starts, then I'm all over it.

I have lots of friends who are from New England and to them I can only say, I'm sorry but you've had 3 turns in the last 5 years.

So, in a couple of weeks we will have the great Battle of the Midwest, held, appropriately, in Miami.

Go Colts!

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

New Year's Eve has never been my favorite holiday.  It just has too much responsibility.  When you are young, there is this big built up expectation to go out and get crazy.  More often than not, that didn't really work out.  Don't get me wrong -- I have had some great ones -- but I also had many that involved arguments and misunderstandings and tears.  Not the best way to wipe the slate clean and start over.

 

Then there's the whole kissing thing.  If you have someone to kiss at midnight it can be a sweet, romantic moment.  If you don't, it can be heartbreakingly lonely.  You can be surrounded by people you love (or maybe just people you really like) and if there isn't one there just for you...well, sometimes it requires a "buck up camper" moment or two.

 

This year, as I have in several years past, I'll be heading out to the RBC Center to watch a hockey game.  I love this developing tradition (this is my 4th year) because even though it's just another game, the atmosphere is more potent and you are "doing something" on New Year's. 

 

Being the nostalgic person that I am, there will be thoughts of nights spent at the Golden Horseshoe (is it still open?) or in an apartment high over Central Park.  A night in Kelly Henderson's living room and a hotel room watching the sun rise in Virginia Beach.  I welcomed in the new millennium with 18 thousand others...and James Taylor.

 

Lots of memories made and many more in the new year.  I hope wherever you are or whatever you are doing tonight that you are going to have a good time.  And I hope you have someone to kiss at midnight.

Boogie Shoes

So, I know at least 3 other people who are loving Studio 60 on NBC.  I am definitely one of them, but I had to get past an initial uneasiness about a plot that is so similar to that of my beloved Sports Night.  I thought maybe Aaron Sorkin was suddenly on the hook for the next big thing and simply recycled his last, best idea before The West Wing.  After a few weeks I decided to get over it.  However, linking the similarities of those two shows and all the connections to another media darling, Desperate Housewives, could turn into a fun parlor game.

 

* The first guest on the first minute of Studio 60 was Felicity Huffman.

 

* Two of the housewives (albeit one of them is dead) are former enemies on Sports Night -- Dana and Sally moved to Wisteria Lane and became friends.

 

* Jeremy is, was, and will always be Jeremy.  I still don't remember his character's name on The West Wing.  It's just Jeremy.

 

* On Sports Night, Dana goes a little nuts whenever they play the KC & the Sunshine Band hit -- a few years later Lynette did the same trying to ditch her needy boss.

 

* Why do all three of Aaron Sorkin's shows have a prominent character named Danny?  (ok, he was Dan on Sports Night)

 

* The production company for Studio 60 is Shoe Money.  Either you know this one or I've lost you entirely. 

 

[If you go on Wikipedia and look up Sports Night there is an extensive list of these things with The West Wing.]

Girl Can't Help It

Zoey seems to be taking my "job" as neighborhood watch block captain quite seriously. I moved the guest bed last weekend and this has become her permanent post. I'm sure she'll let me know if she sees anything unusual out there.

Things Have Changed

[This was originally submitted on Election Night, but I guess the blogosphere was too busy for me.]

In 1992 I was a sophomore in college and I was studying psychology.  I thought I might like to someday work as a therapist.  That semester I took abnormal psychology and it horrified me.  I was convinced that I had every condition that we studied -- paranoia, split personalities, depression -- and apparently everyone else in the class felt the same way.  I decided that a life listening to other people's problems might not be the best road for me.  But what else was there?  It just so happened that semester I was fulfilling my political science requirement, taking a class with 300 other people at CSUF.  The professor's name was Michael Brown.  I had taken a required class in high school, but that teacher was a man counting days until retirement, who spent class time out walking the halls collecting soda cans for recycling, while we researched that day's three questions in our textbooks.  Not the best introduction!  Anyway, Professor Brown took this subject that I was not at all interested in and made it about me.  It was about the city council and the school board and health care and a broken street light.  It was about AIDS policies and free speech and the right to vote and (inside joke) the freedom of assembly.  It was the fall of 1992 and the Democrats took the White House, helped by my first ever vote.

 

I'm not sure what career path I thought I was putting myself on.  (It certainly wasn't a clear path to becoming the IT Manager.)  At times I thought I'd go to law school or be a congressional staffer or run a non-profit or work in opinion polling.  None of those things worked out for me, but I learned some amazing things along the way.  Dr Madison taught me about the three kinds of leaders there are in the world and that even though Burundi is just a dot on the map, it's sovereignty isn't any less valuable than that of the United States.  Dr McNamara showed me how important the "third world" was and how much impact it could someday have on the world.  He also nurtured my senior thesis on a topic that seemed so clear cut to me and yet is on the ballot in several states today, ten years later.  Dr Nelson let me take my love for the words of Dr King and somehow incorporate them into papers for a women's politics class.  Dr Merrifield taught me everything else.  I think I had him for six or seven classes by the time I was done and he was my favorite.

 

Once upon a time in this country, it was safe to trust the government.  That was the world my grandfather grew up in and he still has that faith, no matter how different the world is today.  I was born the year after the Watergate break-in; my government has never been trustworthy.  I hope, if anything, my education has given me a broader view of the political system and how it works.   I know that there are people of great faith who think their way is the only way; their way does not include everyone and I can't believe that is what any God would want.  There are people who are consumed with protection -- their wealth, oil, borders and others who have different goals -- health care, freedom from war.  I understand the party that thinks people should be self starters and that people should pull themselves up by their boot straps.  I identify stronger with the party who worries about those with no shoes.

 

I'm not saying any side is right or wrong -- it's all a measure of priorities and degrees.  It is what makes this a great nation and today a great day.  My personal hope is that significant change is in the air.  We won't really know tonight.  The kind of change I want to see -- for this government to be worth of my grandfather's trust, would take decades.  I hope I'm around to see it.

I Hate Mondays

OK, just the ones when I'm home sick and I've already been sick for 2 days and I'm bored out of my mind. It's barely after 10 and I've already called work twice. Argh!

I just found this little quiz that lets you determine what kind of accent you have. Apparently mine is from the West Coast -- go figure. I've lived here long enough to pick up some regional phrases but for the most part, the differences still stand out. I like them.

Happy birthday Zoey Belle!

Lucky Ball and Chain

My friend Warren is getting married today.  I know he reads this once in a while so I don't want to say anything too goofy, but I'm really very happy for him.  It is supposed to be on a boat in CA and some of my old friends will be there, who I have not seen in eight and a half years.  I can't believe so much time has passed.  Isn't it funny how people can be like your family and then one day they aren't anymore?  I've encountered that more than once in my life and it always surprises me.  Maybe that's why it is so much harder to meet people as you get older? 

 

I spent today at a football game.  Duke lost in spectacular fashion to Navy.  Maybe it's because it was so, so cold.  I woke up sick this morning -- just a bad cold I think, but I cancelled everything I had planned after the football game.  I'm home now, curled up on my couch, waiting for a hockey game to start and hoping I'll be able to stay awake for the whole thing.  Not looking so good right about now.

 

So, before I lose the rest of today to a cold-infused haze, I wanted to wish Warren and his bride the very best. 

Two Shots of Happy, One Shot of Sad

The A's and Cards have advanced and the Dodgers are done. (Sorry Warren!)

 

The first major sport I loved was baseball.  It was one boy's fault, and then a whole bunch of others.  I loved go to games and hang out with my friends, and somehow my brain can retain stats and scores and batting averages.  We used to play a game where Warren or his dad would name a state and I would name all the pro teams in all the major sports. For example, the Dodgers, Padres, Angels, As, Giants, Raiders, 49ers, Chargers, Warriors, Clippers, Lakers, Sharks, Kings and the no longer "Mighty" Ducks.  Or how about the Thrashers, Hawks, Falcons and Braves?  The Caps, Redskins, Wizards and Nationals.  I could do this all night long.  These little games got me into the bigger one.

 

So, years go by and I moved away from the ballparks.  Years go by and I am lucky to get to one baseball game a year (this year it wasn't even a whole game).  Years go by and my head has been turned by hockey and a hundred other things have my heart.  It's easy to love a game that involves a large, empty sheet of ice.  It's easy to love a game that requires every single player to get their turn, to have a chance, to take a shot.  It's easy to love a game where people fight actually for each other.  The superstar egos have no place (not on my team, anyway).  It's easy to love a game that, on any given night, anyone can be the hero. 

 

Plus, hockey players are tough, strong men.  How many baseball players are scratched because they have blisters and can't pitch? 

 

Even at that, each October, just as the year before, I come back to where I started.  I'm hoping to see the A's and the Card's get to the World Series.  I'll never tell who I want to win from there -- I'll be disowned either way.

Wait Until Tomorrow

Tomorrow night is going to be CRAZY.  June 19th seems like such a long time ago now, but already a whole season has passed since the Canes won the Cup.  Tomorrow night, we're raising the banner.  Not even all of the season ticket holders were able to get tickets, but we are going to be among the privileged 18-thousand or so in the building.

 

I've actually been trying to ignore all of the training camp and preseason noise -- none of it really matters anyway.  Already I've heard that people are a little concerned because they were 1-4 in their pre-season schedule; last year I think they were 2-6 and you can see how that turned out.  After the "magical" run in 2002 that ended once we hit the brick wall that was the Detroit Red Wings, we came back the next year and placed 29th in the 30 team league.  Lesson learned.

 

I was cleaning out my office the other day and found the Sports Illustrated NHL preview issue from last year.  They had the Canes pegged to finish 28th or 29th and basically said our GM was delusional for thinking we'd win it all.  Maybe a lesson learned there too.  (This year they have them 4th in the East.)

 

I've got my game bag packed and a plan to meet mom & Wayne in our normal spot so we can pick up our customary tailgating food (Chinese takeout).  Their flagship station replayed Game 7 tonight and I was just reminded of what that night was like, despite all my attempts to keep the excitement at bay.  I'm so excited now I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve.  I hope I sleep tonight.  I hope THEY sleep tonight.

 

Bring on Buffalo. Game on.

 

 

To see how the boys spent their summer vacations, click here.

Wasted Years

I've lived in my own house for one year.  It's been a good year, with lots of changes and lots of firsts.  But every now and then I am reminded that I live alone in this space.  Sure, Zoey (my dog) is here, but at the end of the day I'm here all alone.  I have my family and I have my friends and I am very happy to have both.   I really like my job and have plenty of things that keep me busy and make me happy. 

 

Sometimes I just wonder if this is how it's going to be, like, always.

 

When I moved to North Carolina I felt like I was running away from home.  Sure, my parents were here by then, but I just picked up and left my whole life in California.  People who loved me.  Friends I still miss (especially on New Year's Eve).  I used to think that being alone was my punishment for doing something so reckless.  Have I just imagined that? 

 

I think at some point there was a choice to be made and I was so astonished at the repercussions of one, I forgot to make any others.  Instead I stood still, waiting for the next choice, waiting for things to happen to me instead of making things happen.  After a few years, I changed my mind.  I chose to buy my house.  So, with all the growing pains of this past year and nothing but the future ahead of me, I'm hoping for no more wasted years. 

It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

"That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes,
an aeroplane - Lenny Bruce is not afraid.
Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn..."


Growing up in Southern California, I could always be sure of two things. Wearing shorts on New Year's Day and REM being playing IMMEDIATELY after an earthquake on KROQ. I remember running to turn on the radio while my building was still shaking, at 4 in the morning, after the Northridge quake in 1994. It's almost how we knew the world really was shaking around us and that it wasn't all a weird dream.

I heard it tonight on my way home from work and finally really heard the third line. Hmm. Ernesto is on the way to NC right now and it's pouring outside. Who know it would work for both coasts?

Beautiful Day

What a wonderful weekend! Our traveling party was made up of my step-grandmother, Lola, our family friend, Nelda, my mother and myself. We arrived in Providence on Thursday and crashed at an airport hotel then drove out to Sandwich (Mass) on Friday morning. We caught up with the family at lunch and had the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner (lobster, anyone?). At the rehearsal we all got to see the proposal slideshow Seth made for Beverly -- it was about 45 minutes long, terribly romantic, and after watching it I really got to know them both a lot better.

Saturday, we woke up to a perfect day. The ladies and I decided to take a short trip up to Plymouth to do a little sight-seeing. As soon as we got there, we got a call that we had moved up the gathering time for family pictures before the ceremony. We had a quick lunch (more lobster) and hustled back to Sandwich. Oh yes, and we saw the actual Plymouth Rock. Did you know it is actually just a rock in a hole in the ground with spotlights?

The ceremony was held at a large garden in front of an enormous windmill. I have never really wanted to get married outside myself, but if I did, it would be there. It was just so pretty. My part (the reading) was right after their vows -- so I had the extra benefit of being a bit choked up before I ever tried to speak. I made it through ok and a lot of people after said they could tell "that was hard for me." I read a letter written by my grandfather who wasn't able to travel and he has been the guiding light in my life. Hard doesn't even begin to describe it.

Seth and Beverly are currently on their first trip overseas, driving around Ireland and I'm sure, taking thousands of pictures. I'm so jealous -- I offered to go with and be their personal driver -- oddly enough, they didn't take me up on it.

This is my Uncle Don and Aunt Gail, Beverly and Seth, and my younger cousin, Aaron.

Weekend in New England

I'm just about ready to leave for my cousin's wedding in Massachusetts this weekend.  I've never been to Cape Cod before and I'm really looking forward to going someplace new and seeing that side of my family.  I've always felt like there was a city mouse/country mouse aspect to our relationship while we were growing up.  We grew up on opposite sides of the country; he in a big suburban area and I spent my childhood on a farm out in the boonies; he's a boy, I'm a girl -- the list goes on and on.  We didn't see each other much and I think that we both appreciate each other more now that we are older.  The groom has a younger brother named Aaron -- he is 13 years younger than me and reminds me a lot of myself.  I have only met the bride once, but she has been a part of our family for a few years now and it's time to make it all legal.  It should be a fun weekend.  Did I mention I have to read in public?  Seth and Beverly asked me to read something during the ceremony and we settled on a letter written by my grandfather, who can't make the trip.  It should be a special moment.

Ever the Same

A few things have been keeping me busy lately. I went out of town for several days. Work has been nuts. The new girl quit (not without a lot of drama) and we've been hustling to keep things going. So much going on and so little to tell about it.

It's been hot, hot, hot. It put a bit of a damper on my trip -- it was too hot to go outside!

A week from tomorrow I'm flying to Cape Cod for my cousin Seth's wedding. Most of our little family will be there and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone. My family is very spread out and we don't see each other often so weekend's like this one are precious. A few weeks after that I'll be heading to Vegas to see Kim and then on to So Cal to see her family.

By the way, the new dark chocolate M&M's are awesome.

It's Not Easy Being Green

So, I've not been writing much lately, but it's not because I don't have anything to say. Work has been extra-challenging for the last month, I was dealing with some minor medical stuff, and I've spent the last several days away from home. I've noticed most of my other friends with blogs haven't written much lately either, so I'm not alone!

I found this cute test -- it seems to be true, about me anyway. I'll write much more soon -- hope y'all are staying cool.

You Are Scooter

Brainy and knowledgable, you are the perfect sidekick.You're always willing to lend a helping hand.In any big event or party, you're the one who keeps things going."15 seconds to showtime!"

The Muppet Personality Test