Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes

About two weeks ago a couple of really interesting things happened. I remembered a little bit of who I used to be. I had a wonderful weekend with new-old friends. I smiled so much my cheeks hurt for days. My office mate asked who the "new girl" was because apparently she's not used to me being so happy.

It was the confluence of several different things that woke me up. I suddenly had all kinds of nervous energy and Could Not Sit Still. So, one morning I woke up, tied on my tennis shoes and hit the road. Forty-five minutes later I had walked 2 1/2 miles. The next day I went 3 1/2 miles. I walked and walked and walked. By the end of the week I had gone 15 miles. It's now been two weeks and I have new shoes, a ton of blisters and I've walked, at last count, 31 miles.

It's going to get hot soon and I'm not sure how many more weeks I'll be able to keep going. I've heard it takes 21 days to make or break a habit and this is one I'd like to keep up. There are treadmills at the gym but it really isn't quite the same. I've been exploring my neighborhood and have people I wave to every day. The day of a Canes game I was wearing my Matty Cullin shirt and had about 15 people honk at my on their way home.

While I'm waiting for the next magical weekend, you can find me out there, wandering the streets of Riverside. I think I belong out there.

Details in the Fabric

I have a theory about the rampant growth of Facebook. For years we have all gotten farther apart from each other -- cell phones, working from home, email, texting, instant messaging -- things have evolved to keep us at arm's length from each other. No one really talks to each other anymore.

We all lose touch (as has been the pattern for all of time) and move on into other circles and new friends. Then these really smart kids invited a site to bring people together and the whole world has swarmed to it -- wanting to feel connected to each other again. I think it's kind of nice.

Sleeping With The Television On

I've had a crazy few weeks and a very, very fun-filled weekend. I've traveled to a battlefield, the ocean, and the desert. It doesn't matter how tired I get I simply can't sleep.

It started when I was sick a few weeks back and couldn't breathe -- I just seem to have gotten used to taking a few naps a night. I've tried Tylenol PM, cough syrup and going to bed earlier (not to mention much later).

I've always slept with the TV on -- for years and years and years. I think tonight I'll try something else. Silence. It always makes my mind race and I don't really need to encourage that, but it's worth a try.

I need the clarity that comes with rest - or maybe a good think.

Fool to Think

I've been alone for a long time. When I left my last long-term relationship I thought eventually I would find another one and never expected that just wouldn't happen. I'd always been pretty lucky in love in the insulated worlds of high school and college but I guess that was like shooting fish in a barrel. The real world is a big ol' ocean and much trickier to navigate.

Please don't misunderstand. I've made great friends along the way and have built a life that I truly love. I'm not feeling sorry for myself at all -- I've just accepted my life as it is -- but everyone once in a while I'll feel like something is missing. Like I've forgotten to eat lunch or lost my keys, but of course, bigger. I'll meet someone and think, hmmmm, is this what I'm missing?...and I haven't been right yet.

I wonder if people who have all of the parts put together ever feel this way? Is this the kind of thing where whatever you have, you always want something else? The green is greener, so to speak? I'd love to find out for myself.

Was I a fool to think?
The way you looked at me
I swear you did
But you looked away too quick
Was I a fool, was I a fool to think
That you would take me home
As if I was yours
Was I a fool to think at all?

You Might Die Trying

To change the world, start with one step.

However small, the first step is hardest of all.

I've always been really interested in history and the events that formed our country (hence my woefully underused political science degree!). That's why I jumped at the chance to go to Gettysburg with my oldest friend, explore a bit and do a little good at the same time. There is an organization of people from the travel industry who pick a historical site each year that needs some care and attention and donate their time and labor.








My team's task at the Spangler Farm was to demolish all of the "non-historic vegetation" (I love that term). Basically, we needed to yank out everything extra that has grown there for the last 150 years. The property has remained in private hands since the war and was surrounded by protected parts of the battlefield. After being kept separate it will now be part of the public trust and eventually everyone will get to see this place that served as a field hospital where a famous general died and hundreds slept in the fields, in wool coats, in July, in the rain, for days while waiting for surgeons to attend to their wounds.





By the end of the day we all had uncountable bruises, thorn pricks, scrapes and a little sunburn, but we had also cleared everything but the trees from a tree line a couple hundred feet long and about 30 feet deep. It was just the first day on a project that will likely take a couple of years.

The landscape there is incredible. In a world where urban sprawl is everywhere, this little hamlet has remained almost exactly as it was. I really felt like I got to appreciate the area in a much different way than if I was just a tourist. There was a woman who approached us in the town square the evening after the event. She was on the board of one of the preservation groups, and she walked over to us with tears in her eyes. She was so overwhelmed by the number of people who came and how much we accomplished. You could tell the people who live there really feel like they have a responsibility to preserve that piece of our history. It really was an honor to be able to help them, even if only for a day.