Someone Saved My Life Tonight

As is my normal condition lately, I have too much to do. It's making me grouchy. I have a to-do list at work that still has things on it from February 2007. I have a year's subscription to a genealogy site that is going to expire soon, and I only found one afternoon to investigate it. It said I was the 20th great-granddaughter of Geoffrey Chaucer. Hmmm. No time to contemplate that at all. I have tons of "projects" at work and home that a month full of Sundays could never see completed. I guess that's why it's been so hard to get excited about the holidays this year. I've got enough to balance normally without adding a bunch of parties and shopping and cooking.

I spent Thanksgiving weekend doing a variety of projects. I moved my office at work and had a bunch of work done on my car. I spent a day shopping with my mom and saw 4 movies. I cleaned my house and dragged in the Christmas decorations from the shed in the backyard, intending to spend a lazy morning decorating the next day. Instead I stayed up until 1 a.m. finishing everything -- the front yard, the back yard, the opening between the living room and kitchen (I always hang lights there), the mantle and of course, the tree. I thought that getting that done so early put me ahead of the game. I bought holiday cards (which still sit on my desk) and even made a list of people to send them to. Progress, right?

Then I got caught up in studying for my final exam and a lot of "extra" stuff going on at work and a couple of weeks slipped by. Last night my step-dad called to discuss a possible gift for my mother and I went online to investigate. Apparently there is only a WEEK to shop online to get things in time for Christmas (unless you want to pay a zillion dollars to expedite things -- by then you should just go to the mall). When the heck did that happen? We are within a week of being out of time and I completely Did Not Notice.

So this evening, on my way home from work, I was suddenly inspired. I ran to Target and did a mad-dash sweep of the store, looking for office-people presents and wrapping paper and of all things, socks, and stocking stuffers and at some point I realized you shouldn't try to do Christmas in a day. It's just no fun. I decided to go home an get organized (at least mentally) and leave the rest of the shopping for another day.

Walking towards the front of the store I passed a couple of candy aisles and saw something that just made me stop and take a deep breath. On one of the shelves I saw those books of Lifesavers -- you know the ones -- with the 10 rolls of Lifesavers in the cardboard boxes with the hinge. When I was a kid I always wanted one of those. I don't know why, I'm not particularly fond of Lifesavers and can't remember the last time I had one. For whatever reason I always wanted one and I never got one. I'm not sure how my life went from wanting something as simple as a box of candy or a new Barbie to needing a new car, trying to decide whether or not I should refinance my mortgage, and guessing which work things will get me in the least trouble if I don't do them.

I actually stood there for a minute and tried to decide whether or not I should buy one for myself now. Really, wouldn't it make everything better? I could right an imagined wrong from my childhood and move on. After all, I'm an adult and can buy myself as many Lifesavers as I may want or need. But still.....it's Christmas and a little piece of me thinks maybe, if I'm really good and get all my work done and stop complaining, that Santa might surprise me.