Hold My Hand

Music from the golden days in your life will always be just that: golden. It can keep you company on a long Saturday in the office. Sometimes it's best played loudly with the car windows open. Some cd's are just so comfortable, you know every beat and chord change and word.

Hootie and the Blowfish eventually turned into a bit of a joke (well, Hootie and his Burger King commercials anyway). I loved Darius Rucker and my roommate loved the naked drummer. Hold My Hand and Let Her Cry were big in the fall of 1994 when I went away to school and they were on the video monitors in the slop house everyday. That was one of the best years of my life and that music was the soundtrack.

This is one of those times when I need to turn my back on everything new and go back home. I have a friend in trouble right now. She's got a scary medical thing going on and I'm very far away. If I was back home (well, three homes ago), I'd be able to take her kids out while she was at the doctor or take her to a movie to get her mind off things. We'd go to dinner and talk about what the doctors said and I'd tell her to stop looking things up on the internet because it only makes it more scary. I'd be able to do something. Anything. I'd be able to hold her hand and tell her it's going to be ok.

I did not grow up with siblings. I have some step-people, but they have each other and don't need me. This girl is the closest thing I'll ever have to a real sister. She's seen me when I was skinny, not-so-skinny, a brat, a saint...we've fought, we've consoled each other's broken hearts. She makes me laugh, she makes me crazy, she made me a Godmother. When my heart was broken and I wanted to hide and never come out into the light, she dragged me to the movies every weekend for eight months. She didn't laugh when I was 17 and wanted to marry a guy whose lifetime aspiration was to become a plumber's assistant. She let me go out into the world and find my own place, but has always let me know that she'd be there if I ever wanted to go back. I've taken her to see parts of the country she may never have seen; she's shown me a life I hope to have on my own someday. She met a great guy and they've brought two beautiful children into this world. I only get to see her a couple of times a year but she is a part of me every day. I love her and can't imagine my life without her. I don't know what is going to happen over the next few weeks, but from across a continent I am going to hold her hand as tightly as I can.