Something's Always Wrong

The last few weeks have been difficult and I feel like having a good old fashioned pity party. I do know how fortunate I am and shortly I will regain my equilibrium. Tonight, I am simply bummed out. I can't even put my finger on the reason I have the blues...

I think it may be winter doldrums, even though I love winter more than any other time of year. Well, autumn pretty much rocks too.

It could be the routine I've gotten into where nothing ever changes; which isn't even accurate because everything around me is in flux.

I've been lonely lately. My friend Linda lives here now and I've actually been getting out more, which seems to make the rest of the time somehow emptier.

It could be my performance review at work coming this week, where I will probably hear the same thing as last year, even though I really have tried to fix the thing about me that seems to bother everyone so.

Possibly it's my worry about my friend, who is now past the very scary part but needs to be watched (and I am very grateful for that) but it has worn on me and made me homesick.

The hockey season is almost over. It will be a long summer.

I'm irked by the fact that I have gone to my new gym four (four!) times a week for six weeks now and I've lost only half a pound. I've walked 25 miles. I've ridden a fake bike for 50 more. I can leg press my own body weight (I'm not telling how much that is). I've taken a cycling class that while fun and difficult, resulted in me not being able to sit down for two days. It's ok to laugh at the last one.

My last gripe: it's Wednesday

Tomorrow will be better.